[ by Howard Haykin ] Scene: A court room. Lawyer to Witness, a Dentist: "Now, I want you to sit back in that witness chair and relax.  My questions aren't going to hurt a bit." Judge speaks aloud, to no one particular person, but for all in the Courtroom to hear: "Most judges ... definitely feel the need for Novocain."  And adds: "You all know the drill." That exchange actually took place between Judge Jed Rakoff and Defense Attorney Gary Naftalis, who have been friends for decades.  Meanwhile, the prosecutors have served ably as straight men, since the first day. In another scenario ... Assistant U.S. Attorney Reed Brodsky sought assurance Mr. Naftalis wouldn't be able to mention many of the charitable endeavors of Mr. Gupta, who has pleaded not guilty to insider trading.  "Your Honor, just to be clear, he won't mention AIDS, malaria or tuberculosis," Mr. Brodsky said.   "Or bubonic plague," replied Judge Rakoff. "Or even scurvy," Mr. Naftalis chimed in. Then there was a point in the trial ... when Judge Rakoff explained to a confused witness that 1786 was the page number in a transcript, and not a year.  Mr. Naftalis commented, "Even I wasn't born in 1786."  "So you allege," the judge shot back, to laughter. After Mr. Naftalis complained that ... prosecutors had certain evidence delivered to them before the defense received it, Judge Rakoff responded: "You mean to say you don't have FBI agents who can run errands for you?" And there was the time Mr. Naftalis ..., a Newark, N.J., native, who was a prosecutor in his younger days, said:  "At one time when I was a youth, or a 'yute,' as someone said in the movies once,"The reference was to a courtroom scene in "My Cousin Vinny," in which Joe Pesci's character pronounced "youth" with a heavy New York accent. The levity is nearly a daily occurrence, with or without the jurors present. At one point, Mr. Brodsky spelled out ... the last name of a witness: "M-A-H-A-D-E-V-A."  "The usual!" Judge Rakoff said. "The usual spelling," Mr. Brodsky said. As Mr. Naftalis sought to finish questioning ... a P&G executive, the lawyer discussed with the judge what questions he could pose to the witness regarding concerns that during the economic downturn consumers would buy generic brand products, such as detergent, instead of the company's brand name Tide, for instance.  Judge Rakoff urged Mr. Naftalis to stay on schedule with his questioning - but not without joking: "Keep in mind that you said a half hour…and time and Tide wait for no man." What Else Would You Expect From a Pair of Wannabe Vaudevillians. For Judge Rakoff, a 68-year-old musical theater buff, the bench is often a stage where he tells stories and unleashes punch lines with a throaty laugh.  Mr. Naftalis, 70, is a veteran of the white-collar bar.  During one exchange between himself, the judge and a prosecutor, Mr. Naftalis muttered about an "Olsen and Johnson routine," alluding to rowdy comedians famous from the vaudeville era until the 1950s. To access the referenced article, click on:   [WSJournal, 6/12/12].