[ by Melanie Gretchen ]

David Petraeus: Who knew the former CIA head was so interesting?  Apparently, CNBC, which has already laid out a cast (in several genres) to play out the scandal that is quickly unwinding.  Compare the Oscar-winning cast to the comedy cast for Petraeus picks (Al Pacino versus Charlie Sheen) and for President Obama picks (Denzel Washington versus Chris Rock).

The Real Life Cast

David Petraeus: CIA director from 9/6/11 to 11/9/12
Paula Broadwell: American writer of "All In: The Education of General David Petraeus," who had an affair with David Petraeus, the discovery of which prompted his resignation
Holly Petraeus: wife of David Petraeus
Jill Kelley: an American socialite and volunteer social liaison to MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa Bay, Florida
Gen.     John Allen: a United States Marine Corps 4-star general who communicated with Jill Kelley
Shirtless FBI Agent: the friend of Jill Kelley looking into threatening e-mails she received;  later discovered to have sent her a shirtless photo of himself
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta: the top commander in Afghanistan who sent Jill Kelley tens of thousands of messages

[C-I Note: Holly Petraeus "has been through a lot and deserves some kindness," CNBC's Jane Wells wrote;  nevertheless, "revenge is a dish best served hot hot hot," informing her casting choice.]

And now for the nominations...

The Oscar-winning cast

Gen. Petraeus—Al Pacino
Paula Broadwell—Hilary Swank
Holly Petraeus—Meryl Streep
Jill Kelley—Marion Cotillard
Gen. John Allen—Chris Cooper
Shirtless FBI Agent—Ryan Gosling
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta—Robert DeNiro
President Barack Obama—Denzel Washington
 

The comedy

Gen. Petraeus—Charlie Sheen
Paula Broadwell—Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Holly Petraeus—Megan Fox
Jill Kelley—Sofia Vergara
Gen. John Allen—Will Ferrell
Shirtless FBI Agent—Elmo
Defense Secretary Panetta—Fred Armisen
President Obama—Chris Rock
 

"24" meets "Homeland"

Gen. Petraeus—Damian Lewis
Paula Broadwell—Claire Danes (who's secretly trying to blow the lid off a spy ring in Tampa)
Holly Petraeus—Elisha Cuthbert
Jill Kelley—Mary Lynn Rajskub
Gen. John Allen—Kiefer Sutherland (who's secretly trying to blow the lid off a spy ring in Tampa)
Shirtless FBI Agent—Channing Tatum (just because)
Defense Secretary Panetta—Mandy Patinkin
President Obama—Dennis Haysbert ("You're in good hands with President Palmer")
 

The art house film

Gen. Petraeus—Daniel Day-Lewis
Paula Broadwell—Marisa Tomei
Holly Petraeus—Nicole Kidman
Jill Kelley—Olivia Munn  
Gen. John Allen—Tilda Swinton  
Shirtless FBI Agent—Isaiah Mustafa
Defense Secretary Panetta—Richard Gere
President Obama—Samuel L. Jackson
 

Life imitating art

Gen. Petraeus—Brad Pitt
Paula Broadwell—Angelina Jolie
Holly Petraeus—Jennifer Aniston
 

The "Fatal Attraction" remake

Gen. Petraeus—Michael Douglas
Paula Broadwell—Glenn Close
Holly Petraeus—Anne Archer
Jill Kelley—The rabbit which ends up in the pot
 

[CNBC, 11/13/12]